Tell me a little about yourself outside of kink. What do you do day to day?
I’m a health professional, advocate, artist, kamikaze, day-dreamer and meditator.
Tell me a little about yourself inside kink.
I’m playful, girlish, dangerous, vulnerable and cheeky.
Are your kink identities and ‘real life’ identities similar?
Yes. I am passionate, changeable and temperamental, with conflicting identities.
When did you first know you liked rope?
I first heard about it from a friend, and first saw it in-person when a kinkster performed rope at Hellfire before he left for Canada. I first knew I loved it when a top I knew tied me, and I hit the floor – I went blind and deaf, and had every nerve in my body firing.
What attracts you to rope?
Its beauty – its level of connection, and its form of edge play; the beautiful shapes created by the body and rope.
Why or how is rope different from other methods of bondage, for you?
It’s different to stocks or leather cuffs – more organic and “alive”.
How does rope make you feel?
Rope is stillness. Surrender. Vulnerability. Being held. Being loved and cherished. It is connection. Rope is casting off the persona and masques. Rope is sacred space. Rope is permission. Rope is SLOW DOWN. Rope is defy gravity, defy all “natural laws”. Rope is self-judgement – creating places of holding and bulges, showing places where my body does not bend, and needs to release. Rope is victory over my body.
What do you think is important to keep in mind, when picking a rope partner or partners?
Someone who can PUT THEIR EGO ASIDE and stay PRESENT with you. If the partner is prioritising an idea they have about amazing tie over the bunny’s well-being, or hoping to elicit a specific emotional outcome, they should not be tying. That is why it takes practice and training – in the moment those skills are options, but the present circumstances and connection between the partners is key.
Have you ever had an incident in rope? Has anything ever gone wrong?
I had something go wrong during a performance but I stayed calm, used my muscles, knew I had good spotters and knew my partner was working quick as he could to fix the situation. I have had a bad play session – a lot of pain (including the days afterward). It was not a good experience, and it taught me a lot about selecting play partners, self-advocacy, listening to one’s body and the importance of the rigger understanding weight transfers – especially during transitions.
What is the best bit of advice you could give to somebody who wants to try rope?
Start slow. Do not rush into suspension. Pick your play partners wisely.
What would you want someone who knows nothing about rope to know about rope, and about you?
Rope is not shameful or weird. Neither am I.
Why did you want to be a part of this project?
When I heard about it, my heart opened up and said YES! I would love to be part of an art project involving rope, to document and explore this journey. Also, I would LOVE for you to tie me, and I am too afraid to ask…