Tell me a little about yourself outside of kink. What do you do day to day?
I’m a mother, a writer and a lover of art. Day to day, it’s all the glories of domestic life.
Tell me a little about yourself inside kink.
I’m free to let go of responsibility and worries and allow myself to enjoy weird, wonderful and interesting people and have loads and loads of fun. I love being around the passion and intensity of the people on the scene and finding a space where I am free to be me where I don’t have to live up to social expectations of motherhood, adulthood and model citizenship. My ‘real-life’ identity is very subdued and polite. My kink identity is the wild and ridiculous side of me that has no outlet in any other space.
What first attracted you to rope?
The connection between the top and bottom. The physical closeness that is as likely to be platonic as it is sexual or romantic. I enjoy trust and touch within friendship, a physical connection that is a non-verbal reassurance that you are close to other human beings.
What do you think is the most important part of a rope-scene for you?
Trust. Trust with your body, feeling comfortable having someone’s hands on you. Trust within yourself, having the confidence to speak up if things start to go wrong. Trust that the top will treat you with respect and care.
What is it like after a rope-session?
Warm and soft and relaxed.
What do you think is important to keep in mind, when picking a rope partner or partners?
That you know their work and respect them, but are not so in awe of them that you feel you have something to prove or live up to. Someone who you feel would support you regardless of how the scene panned out, good or bad.
Have you ever had an incident in rope? Has anything ever gone wrong?
Yes. My first suspension was unexpectedly painful, which I was not prepared for. I felt disappointed in myself, my weight and my strength, and sad that something that looked so fun appeared to be off limits to me. I later learned that this was not necessarily the case and that with better awareness and preparation, suspension might be as enjoyable for me as it appeared for others.
What is the best bit of advice you could give to somebody who wants to try rope?
To try within a space that they feel comfortable and safe, physically and psychologically. To try different things with different people because there is no one single style, feeling or right way.
Why did you want to be a part of this project?
Because I wanted to be part of something that is bringing beauty and wonder into the world. I have always had substantial body issues and I wanted to show myself and my body to accept and celebrate its beauty rather than just lamenting it’s size and weight. Kat has amazing skill and creativity, and I really wanted to be tied by her and learn to love my body as it is. Oh! And to make people see that bondage isn’t always a big, threatening thing.