Tell me a little about yourself outside of kink. What do you do day to day?
Out side of kink I work full time, I enjoy painting and other such art projects, take my dog for walks… You know – “Normal stuff”.
Tell me a little about yourself inside kink.
In the scene am a masochist, a submissive, and generally a cheeky pup.
Are your kink identities and ‘real life’ identities similar? How do they differ? How are they the same?
Kink gave me an amazingly unique opportunity to express sides of myself which I wouldn’t show in my daily life. Kink allows me to express my vulnerability and wear it proudly. There are a number of similarities between my kink and ‘real life’ identities BUT there are also some massive differences.
In my day to day life most people would see me as being a pretty strong-willed individual; someone who has their head screwed on straight, is a little outrageous, but for the most part is just a ‘normal’ girl looking for her path in life. In the kink world I am given a safe space to express my vulnerabilities. By this I don’t mean I go to mush and become a total push-over. Most of my kink friends I think would agree I am still a strong willed, outrageous, level headed chick; but the difference is that I am allowed the opportunity to relax my guard. When I’m around other kinksters or scening etc, I don’t have to be the one in control of the situation. I find myself being able to relax control, and to speak, move and act more freely, without concern.
If you’ll excuse the theatrics, I guess the most simple analogy is that in daily life I am a warrior: soldiering on ready for battle all day everyday wearing my full (and often very heavy) battle armor. Kink allows me the freedom to move and act without the confines of the battle armor, but I am no less of a warrior.
How do you participate in kink activities? Are they just in the bedroom, or do they extend beyond that?
I participate in kink activities in many forms, the least of which is “just in the bedroom”. My main kinks revolve around rope, sensory & impact play. Whilst these can be highly erotic and intimate acts they are not a sex driven enterprise for me personally. The majority of kink for me is more about meditative states.
When did you first know you liked rope?
Rope specifically? It took me a while to realise this, but I was actually first drawn to rope in my school years. I mistook it for a love of rock climbing and abseiling – I even followed the sport into the beginnings of an outdoor education career. Its only now that I realize that whilst rock climbing is awesome fun, it was actually the sensation of handling the rope that I was drawn to.
What attracts you to it now?
Now that I’m aware of ropes affect on me, I’m attracted to it for the sensation, but also because I want to explore the meditative mental state that rope puts me in. It’s a fascinating thing to explore.
How does rope make you feel?
Like I said rope is very meditative and cathartic for me – it makes me feel peaceful. As the rope goes on I am bound into a mental cocoon which gives me the mental space to rest and recover from my daily life. As the rope is removed it feels like I am waking up refreshed from the best sleep of my life and I feel ready to tackle the everyday stuff again.
How do you play with rope?
I participate with rope as a bunny or submissive. I have tried doing rope as a top/dominant, and although the scene went well, and my bunny and dear friend enjoyed the scene very much, it wasn’t the right fit for me.
What other kink activities interest you?
Other kink activities which interest me include impact, sensory, power exchange, and needle or medical play. I’m still pretty new to the kink scene so I am sure there are loads of other stuff out there that will pique my interest when I find it.
What is the best bit of advice you could give to somebody who wants to try rope?
TAKE YOUR TIME. Kink isn’t going to suddenly disappear overnight. Take your time to establish what it is you would like and who you would like to do it with. Be smart and think about it; don’t just jump on the first offer you get.
Why did you want to be a part of this project?
I was on board from the moment I heard about Kat’s project. I think kink, fetish and rope bondage is very misunderstood, and the fact that this project is so heavily geared towards promoting understanding… well, I just had to be a part of it; plus I get to show my true self.