Tell me a little about yourself outside of kink. What do you do day to day?
I spend my working day staring at a screen, making computers, and occasionally people, do what they’re told. I’m a bit of a bookworm, a poetry fan, a gamer, a lover of the obscure, and of the very firm opinion that Neverland should actually exist ’cause growing up is boring.
Tell me a little about yourself inside kink.
I like to laugh. I realise that sounds silly but some of the most amazing kink adventures have resulted in me gasping for air through the giggles. I occasionally like to cry. I like to lose myself completely in whatever it is I’m doing and wrap myself up in the best of people.
Are your kink identities and ‘real life’ identities similar?
I’d never really had a moment of “oh, I like kink now” in my life. Each aspect was just something new to explore and eventually I realised that it fell outside the norm for most people. I censor what I say depending on who I’m talking to, but beyond that it’s pretty much just all me all the time.
How do you participate in kink activities? Are they just in the bedroom, or do they extend beyond that?
I don’t really separate who I am into “kink” and “non-kink” so it tends to flow over into most of my life. I’m careful what of that I share with some people (pretty sure Gran wouldn’t appreciate hearing about some of my after hours proclivities for example) but beyond that, I don’t consciously divide the when of kink at all.
What first attracted you to rope?
Rope has a beauty to it I fell for pretty much straight away. I like its puzzles, and the fact that you don’t need to work out its secrets to appreciate it.
Why or how is rope different from other methods of bondage, for you?
It feels more natural, more fluid. It doesn’t ever really feel like a means to an end for me, which other kinds of bondage can. It’s more an extension of the person, and what’s going on at the time.
How does rope make you feel?
It’s home, and safety. Even when it’s rough there’s a comfort to knowing you can fly apart and it will hold the pieces of you together enough to let you reassemble what’s left once you’re shattered.
What is it like after a rope-session?
Peace. Rope more than any other kind of kink I’ve engaged in so far lets me escape my own head, so a lot of the time I have to spend a comparatively long period of time adjusting to the fact that I’m on planet Earth again, and I have knees.
What do you think is the most important part of a rope-scene for you?
That second when you realise you can let go. When it’s just you, your partner, and this thing binding you two together. There’s this internal exhale that you give or receive that’s indescribable, but amazing. The connection in rope has left me wordless and awed at times, and feeling remarkably humble.
What do you think is important to keep in mind, when picking a rope partner or partners?
Someone you can communicate freely with (and will communicate freely with you), someone who makes you mentally comfortable enough that you can speak up without second guessing yourself. Communication is a huge thing for me as a whole.
What would you want someone who knows nothing about rope to know about rope, and about you?
Rope isn’t some great indefinable thing that’s only done in dark dungeons by half naked, leather clad kinksters who worship pain and possibly Satan. Most of the time the lighting is pretty good. In seriousness, I’ve found rope to be an incredible way to connect with people on a different level. It can be whatever you make it, and doesn’t have to be something you only talk about in whispered conversations. My weekends may sometimes be a little beyond the pale for some people, but my day to day life is no different than anyone else’s.
Why did you want to be a part of this project?
I think Kat is exceptionally talented and I loved the idea of this project from the get-go. All the shoots so far have been so full of life and joy. They bring the human aspect into rope for people who are unfamiliar with it in a wonderful way.